Accountability Vs Avoidance

Foundations & Friction Series

You care about your people and want to create a supportive culture. But when performance slips or priorities get missed, you hesitate. You don’t want to micromanage—or worse, damage trust.

What I love about this “predicament” is that is shows how much leadership has evolved from the “I’m the boss, do as I say” mentality to a more collaborative, empathetic mentality that truly wants to create a positive workplace environment. Over-indexing on being “too empathetic” or avoiding accountability because it creates a difficult or awkward situation for you are ways that we can inadvertently move away from accountability and into avoidance.

The foundation: Accountability is a form of care. It reinforces shared standards, follow-through, and mutual respect. We are all adults, coming together to accomplish something, and we can handle accountability. Many people have experienced accountability being used as a “gotcha!” tool and not the incredible tool it is to actually move things forward in integrity.

The friction: Giving feedback or naming issues is uncomfortable. For empathetic leaders, it’s easy to delay tough conversations in the name of kindness—and unintentionally create confusion or resentment. You can always out yourself in the other person’s shoes: Would you want someone to avoid telling you something important because they thought it might make you uncomfortable or upset you? The answer is likely no. It IS uncomfortable, BUT I can say something and then remain in the moment with you, and WE will get through it together.

The reframe: Avoidance doesn’t protect people - it undermines them. Accountability, done well, is clarity with compassion.

A question worth asking: Is there a conversation I’ve been avoiding that could actually build trust?